it was midnight and I was wide awake

As I was driving to a midnight meeting with over 300 Fight Club men last night, God laid this thought on my heart.... Fight Club is not only a good men's ministry that is building men into stronger Jesus followers but it is changing a culture. 

It is shifting the way men and families are running after  Jesus. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. We get to be a part of that shift in raising up the next generation of Jesus followers. I then continued down the road to hang out with these Culture shifters!

We gathered and shared testimonies, played some manly games, and ate some burgers. 

We all met  to encounter God and to sharpen one another. We looked at the Battle that Gideon led in Judges 7 where 300 men marched around the camp to defeat the Midianites. We lit our torches and brought that story home to our own battles. I was deeply moved as men marched in single file around the camp.

We made our way back to the campsite later to pray and make commitments to Jesus.

This photo captures 300 men standing around the camp. This was an epic moment for us as we stood with our torches held high and yelled a battle cry!

As we stood there we knew it was not another normal Friday night but a visitation by God had taken place on these grounds and in our hearts.

Men supported, prayed, and poured courage into each other ...

The march gave us time to listen to God and let him minister to us.

Every Man knew he was part of something very powerful last night. We left encouraged, strengthened, challenged and motivated to finish what we started.

As I pulled away this morning around 4:30 AM my heart was overflowing with God-sightings and honest testimonies that had taken place; and a deep satisfaction that God was lifted high. It was one of the most epic evenings I have ever had with my Savior and men! The shift has begun and we get to be a small part of it!

I believe this with every fiber of my heart

If prayer is not the major priority of our lives and the local church then we will never fully experience or accomplish what God longs for us to do. And here is why I believe that... prayer is the difference between what we can do and what God can do. 

As the Pastor of Grace Community Church I long to see us keep prayer at the center of our lives. I long for us to be a praying church that depends on God all the time not just in the valleys. Prayer must be the engine that drives the local church or otherwise it is driven by man. And if man is driving the church then it will never bring glory to God. 

I love it when people begin to get this. I love it when a passion for prayer oozes from staff and family and church members. I love sitting with people of prayer because they have a countenance that exudes Jesus. They are able to stand above the chaos of their lives because they know God is with them. They even respond differently in times of stress and valleys of death. They also continue to pray even if it isn't a season of want and need. A lot of people pray but only when they need something from God for their lives. 

Prayer unites our hearts with Jesus. Prayer bonds, welds and glues  our hearts together with Jesus. 

One of my dreams has always been that the same number of people that show up to worship God on Sunday mornings would show up and pray on Wednesday nights. We are headed in that direction at a more rapid pace then ever in the history of Grace Community.

Prayer is hard work. Prayer is opposed more then any ministry in the local church. It is very difficult to get people out to pray at a weekly encounter. Because the Enemy knows how dangerous a church can be when it becomes a praying church. 

Most church growth analyst determine health by a Sunday morning attendance and a few other good things yet none that I have ever read has ever factored in the weekly prayer gathering. 

Even after walking out of our weekly hour of prayer last night where there was sobbing, brokenness, unshakable faith, pleading, and an expectancy that God would miraculously intervene; I was blown away by the obvious tangible presence of God. For those that were there last night as you look at the photo above that has been blurred out on purpose; you remember what happened last night and you will never forget it.

All that to say this... God longs to do far more then we can even ask or imagine and he tells us we have not because we ask not. I wonder how many miracles will be left on the shelf because churches never gather to pray. 

Please Jesus may our gatherings on Wednesdays match our thousands on Sunday mornings! Pray on!

But I will trust in you

I have been a Christ-follower for 47 years. I have witnessed first hand the truths of God's Word and have seen miraculous movements of God up close. He has come through for me every single time and not once has he let me down. 

In some of my darkest times Jesus has carried me and has given me the strength to press on. Never once have I walked alone.

I know my God is real. I know he knows what is best for me and for all his children. 


Yet, while I know that to be true it does mean that I do not grieve and feel pain and sometimes wish for a different outcome than what he gives me. 

Let me explain... We just lost a beautiful woman of God and my heart hurts and rejoices at the same time. Part of me wants to cry and part of me wants to sing and dance. I find myself capitulating back and forth between the two, because Cheryl is home but she is gone from us and her family on earth. 

While I fully rejoice I am also torn as I see her precious kids left behind without an earthly Mom and Dad and I hurt for them. I feel pain and anguish in my heart that they no longer have Mom and Dad with them. So, I do what any Christ-follower does, I lean on Jesus because he says when we are weak he is strong. I cry out to him and ask him to comfort these precious kids and be their rock. I ask him to be their shelter in the storm. I ask him to do what he is best at, turn this hard time into something beautiful. 

While I can't see that beautiful thing right now. And while I cannot fully comprehend how this is best.  And while I cannot understand how two precious people can die with cancer and leave their children behind.  And while I can't see how this will be worked out for good. I know from experience that God's plan is perfect.

Somewhere down the road after the grieving process begins to unfold there will be a moment when I will see more clearly. And I will once again marvel at how our God's plan was just absolutely perfect. I will see how all the pieces have come together for good, real good, incredibly good for Dakota and Mariah. 

So while, my heart aches and ponders the reasons why, I  choose to trust in Jesus, because I know -that I know -that I know my Savior will work this out for good and his plan is perfect. And until then I will fully find my comfort in Jesus and trust in him. 

Plus, when I allow myself to picture Cheryl and Corky in heaven my face explodes with a big smile as I see Corky standing at the gates of heaven and saying to his wife "good to have you home, honey!"

You will be missed Cheryl but not forgotten, your legacy of faith lives on in us and your children! Good-bye, dear friend and when you get a chance after catching up with Corky say hi to Jesus for us!

I can never do what she does nor do I want to

Everything about this picture makes me smile and tear up at the same time! In fact, I snapped it off this week not truly knowing how it would move me so deeply.

Only a momma can do this and hold the home together. Fill the walls with laughter. Create a place of peace and refuge to come  home to. Feed everyone while never making it become a chore. Stay fit while always making sure her kids are picked up and driven all over eternity and back. Hold close her sick children through the night on little or no sleep and remain constant with hugs for all the others. Pray endlessly and fervently till the healing takes place. Wash clothes non-stop over and over again. Arise early and intercede for hundreds of others with an endless supply of faith. Play a game of hoops in the driveway with a mean J-shot from 12 feet. Craft, paint and decorate our home like a Home and Garden Show. Fill her husband's love tank with words that makes him believe he could scale Mt. Everest  and so much, much, much more and still have time to...

Let her 20 year daughter snuggle up to her while she is home on Spring Break from College so that her love tank can be filled too.

Endless love, just endless love of  this momma! You amaze me, Annie Brown!