But I will trust in you

I have been a Christ-follower for 47 years. I have witnessed first hand the truths of God's Word and have seen miraculous movements of God up close. He has come through for me every single time and not once has he let me down. 

In some of my darkest times Jesus has carried me and has given me the strength to press on. Never once have I walked alone.

I know my God is real. I know he knows what is best for me and for all his children. 


Yet, while I know that to be true it does mean that I do not grieve and feel pain and sometimes wish for a different outcome than what he gives me. 

Let me explain... We just lost a beautiful woman of God and my heart hurts and rejoices at the same time. Part of me wants to cry and part of me wants to sing and dance. I find myself capitulating back and forth between the two, because Cheryl is home but she is gone from us and her family on earth. 

While I fully rejoice I am also torn as I see her precious kids left behind without an earthly Mom and Dad and I hurt for them. I feel pain and anguish in my heart that they no longer have Mom and Dad with them. So, I do what any Christ-follower does, I lean on Jesus because he says when we are weak he is strong. I cry out to him and ask him to comfort these precious kids and be their rock. I ask him to be their shelter in the storm. I ask him to do what he is best at, turn this hard time into something beautiful. 

While I can't see that beautiful thing right now. And while I cannot fully comprehend how this is best.  And while I cannot understand how two precious people can die with cancer and leave their children behind.  And while I can't see how this will be worked out for good. I know from experience that God's plan is perfect.

Somewhere down the road after the grieving process begins to unfold there will be a moment when I will see more clearly. And I will once again marvel at how our God's plan was just absolutely perfect. I will see how all the pieces have come together for good, real good, incredibly good for Dakota and Mariah. 

So while, my heart aches and ponders the reasons why, I  choose to trust in Jesus, because I know -that I know -that I know my Savior will work this out for good and his plan is perfect. And until then I will fully find my comfort in Jesus and trust in him. 

Plus, when I allow myself to picture Cheryl and Corky in heaven my face explodes with a big smile as I see Corky standing at the gates of heaven and saying to his wife "good to have you home, honey!"

You will be missed Cheryl but not forgotten, your legacy of faith lives on in us and your children! Good-bye, dear friend and when you get a chance after catching up with Corky say hi to Jesus for us!